I am in love with this little guy, and let me just tell you, age 3 has been pure gold.

I cannot get over how super sweet, innocent, cute, adorable, precious, funny, tender, and FUN he is.

I literally think about how lucky I am to have my boys daily- and I treasure this special time.

Sometimes I wish I could prolong these ages a little longer, they are growing so fast, and this guy is my last one, my baby!

So here are my current favorite things about this little cowboy:

*I love that he sleeps while clutching a hotwheel car (favorites change by the week).

*I love that he tells me, “You’re my gull (girl) when he gives me a big squeeze

* I love that he calls popsicles “popsicables” and doesn’t know he is even saying it wrong.

*That when he wakes up he tells me about his dreams with a VERY animated face.

* I love his little boy feet and little boy hands.

* I love that he likes to pick out his clothes and dress himself, and almost definitely will put on his clothes backwards and inside-out-

and if anyone points it out or asks if he wants to put them on the right way, he waves his hand and says, “Its OK, its OK” (he likes it like that).

*I love that at any given time he will break out into dance (usually some kind of break dance move :))

*I love that he grabs my face when he kisses me and tells me I’m his best fwend”

*I love that every single day he says, “Mama, I need to hold you” when he’s sleepy or wants to cuddle.

Yes, the kid has my heart- how could he not?

*****

These were taken after I picked him up from preschool a couple days ago.

I was feeling the need to create and he was so sweet to be a part of it-

plus he was excited I built him a teepee out of one of his bed sheets in the backyard.

**********************

So lately, I have been battling a feeling- a strange and unfamiliar feeling-

Its hard to describe, but almost a slight feeling of loss or almost emptiness, a craving, a need.

A need that I could not identify.

Its confusing, because I feel I have a very full life- and I’m not depressed,

but yet, I keep feeling this need is not being met.

Lately, it has been really strong, and it has been driving me crazy.

At first I thought I was homesick, but when I lay in bed awake at night, and I think about going back to California,

that idea doesn’t satisfy the need-

The fact is, where ever my hubby and boys are is where my home  and heart is.

So then I was thinking maybe I am not spending as much time as I need to create- so I did the conceptual shoot of my little guy above.

and although those photos do make my heart sing, it didn’t satisfy this other craving…

Maybe I missed my business back in California- being so busy all the time…

That wasn’t it, because I feel busy (in other ways) here as well!

And I am loving this special time I am spending with my family, and the slower pace of life…

Finally last night, in the middle of the night, it dawned on me and I realized what I have been missing-

I LOVE making people happy.

I miss the high, the daily high, of making my clients feel beautiful and connected with their loved ones,

and giving them artwork of them that expresses the love they feel,

or being able to capture their unique selves.

Daily I was getting high off of making people happy…

I CONFESS ~

I am a total junkie and I am going through withdrawals!

Who knew it could be so addictive!

And who knew I was missing all this before I had this job!

Wow- that is a dangerous drug!

I feel so blessed to have a job that gives me such happiness making other people happy and we get to co-create art!

*****

I am happy to report, I actually feel so much better now that I have finally identified my craving {or Happy Client Addiction}.

Seriously, I really feel so much better! :)

*****

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant here! :)

This move has been a big adjustment in so many ways-

and I am learning new things from it all the time.

I am having some growing pains, and I am sure they are far from over.

The exciting part is that good things can come from change if I am open to them.

Each day I affirm that I am open to guidance to the right path, and the strength and courage to follow it.

Thanks for taking this journey with me :)

Looks like my little cowboy woke up from his nap and I gotta go~

Have a great weekend!

xoxo Shell